He's got me, I've got Him

Published on 22 May 2018
a train hurrying along tracks
Jennifer Murphy is a busy mother of two, who felt drawn into a closer relationship with God after a week of guided prayer (led by Steve Hoyland). She writes about her encounter with Jesus on a chaotic Friday evening. How might we meet Jesus too?

 

Life is incredibly busy and there is an increasingly popularization of never having to be alone.
You can pick up your phone 24 hours a day and get hold of a social media friend, ready to communicate through photos, emojis or photos.
I fall into this trap of the glorification of busy on a regular basis. I check myself into places on Facebook and post photos of my locations on Instagram.
One Friday evening I was head first in this busyness. I was feeling jealous and irritated that Facebook posts were all about finishing work for the week, yet as a shift worker I had a weekend of work ahead. I had a husband away at work until Saturday lunchtime. I had a 16-year-old staying late at school and a weekend of GCSE revision ahead of him. I had a 11-year-old with extra Friday dance classes, due to an impending show and a full weekend of dance ahead (meaning snacks, clothes, drop off, pickups all needed sorting.) There were the usual Friday chores, meal making, bath running and uniform washing.
At the bottom of this list, there was the fact I wanted to go to a monthly praise/ worship/ adoration evening, which involved a train journey. All the above needed sorting first.
As I left, with a list of oven and bed times, I rushed out, completely forgetting the reason why I was heading to that train.
Instead of gazing out the window, soaking up God’s creation, I was constantly checking if my phone had signal.
As I stepped off the train, I was hit by two texts. One telling me my daughter couldn’t get the TV to work. One telling me my son had burnt the tea.
I stood and imagined a broken TV and a house full of smoke. Panic rose up from my stomach and tears flooded my face.
I lost all sense of where I was and found myself on opposite platform, wanting to go home.
Words rushed around my head – what was I doing? How selfish am I? What other mums would do this on a Friday evening? Why did I not pray in my bedroom? Why didn’t I just wait until Mass?
The panic and self-doubt rose, and, in my thoughts, I cried out “I’m such a rubbish mum. Their Dad is at work and I’m here. They’ve got no one”.
I felt a shake, a warmth, I felt light again, and I heard the words, “Go, they’ve got me”.
As those words rose from my heart to my head I knew who had said them.
I knew that the same Jesus who was standing, holding, calming and protecting me, was standing, holding, calming and protecting my children. He was doing as he said, He had them and they had Him.
It was that Jesus who walked with me to the church and continued to support and strengthen me. As I praised, worshipped and adored that Jesus, he literally turned my panic into praise and my worry into worship. (Psalm 30:11-12 You have turned my mourning into dancing).
This encounter did not need a Facebook post, it just needs a total opening of my heart, a total trust , a total belief and a total surrender to Jesus , so I’m always reminded he is always with me , even on a chaotic Friday evening.
He’s got me, I’ve got Him.

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