... in a sense of rejection
A sense of rejection by a lay religious movement I’d been seeking to join revealed to me recently that, in pursuing inclusion in this movement, I was not seeking God as I believed I was, but a sense of belonging for myself.
I’d been visiting this group and felt welcome, so I filed my application to join – less out of certainty than of a desire to show decisiveness. But then I sent a few emails that received no response—discourteous, perhaps, but not an absolute rejection. It was when I attempted to share a brief blog post I’d written that it became evident that the door was closed to me. It wasn’t that I was sensitive to my writing being rejected (though of course I am); rather, it was as a result of that rejection that my motive for joining became clear to me. I was saddened and disappointed, but it was in that very sadness that I began to see my real motive, and thus to move to greater understanding. God reveals us to ourselves in often painful ways, but in that revelation, we see him at work in our lives and know that we are loved.