Search, and you will find
‘Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find.’
I’m asking Lord. I’ve been asking day and night for weeks. Please let my beloved live. Please take away this diagnosis. Please make me whole again. And Lord, I’m searching too, like a crazy person who has lost their mind. I search the Gospels, I search my beloved’s face, I search back through all my experiences of you. I search in a silent, empty, dusty, neglected Church and look at that flickering flame that reminds me you are with me and will never abandon me. I smile at the irony. I wait. Something changes inside me. I stop asking and I stop searching. I feel I am being drawn out of my life and into your life. In all my pain I feel the quiet hint of a gentle consolation. I thank you.
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